Bachelor Diary 7 Charlie O'Connell Episode 1 Diary Air Date: 03/28/2005 After the two-minute dating, Chris Harrison came in and said I had to narrow the field from 25 women to 20. At that moment, this entire thing became real to me. I was kind of shell-shocked. I had barely met these beautiful women, and already I had to send five home. It wasn't an easy decision, but I just went with my gut instinct. Then came the real Rose Ceremony. Going into this whole experience, I thought how great it would be to date 25 beautiful women, go on exotic dates and have so much fun. But the Rose Ceremony was harder than I ever could have imagined. There are women with real, genuine feelings -- and I have real, genuine feelings for them. How do you send someone home when you're just getting to know them? I've always hated goodbyes, and tonight was no exception. There were about five ladies who could have received the final two roses tonight. I really had no idea what to do. I basically just chose the two women I felt most confident about, and I'm hoping I made the right decision. I felt slightly better when the women I cut left and they all wished me the best of luck. I hope they all understand what great women they are, and what a hard decision it was for me. But at the same time, I'm looking forward to the next round of dates. It's going to be quite a ride! Episode 2 Diary Air Date: 04/04/2005 There are many parts of this experience that are very fun -- walking into the Rose Ceremonies is not one of them. I don't like it, and I'm sure the girls don't like it, but at the end of the day, it's a weight that has been lifted off my shoulders. It's a time where I can breathe and look to the future. All the drama in the house really came to light at this Rose Ceremony. I'm trying not to concern myself with the ladies' problems. I do hope that at the end of this, the girls can be friends with each other, and they can all look back on this and not regret a minute of it, but girls will be girls, and there's nothing I can do to keep them from fighting. Everyone keeps asking me what I'm looking for in a girl. It's hard because I don't know exactly what I'm looking for myself. I'm looking for a little spunk, a little humor and a little fun. I'm an outgoing guy and obviously I want an outgoing girl. I want someone to challenge me. I'm not looking to give a girl a rose that I don't have a big connection with, and if any of the ladies are fighting to stick around just to be around, they're barking up the wrong tree. I'm really looking for a girl to be herself. Any time I see someone who is not being themselves, it makes me feel uncomfortable and that girl is probably going home. We're already down to eight girls and I'm really looking forward to slowing down the process and getting to know a few girls personally. I'm waiting to find that one girl that I really, really like. Episode 3 Diary Air Date: 04/11/2005 Earlier this week I had my date with Kara. We went ice skating and had a great time. She's a wonderful person and we had a really fun date, but I think I came to realize -- and I think she did as well -- that we're just at different places in our lives. Her life is devoted to her daughter, as it should be, and I'm not at that point yet. I hope to be someday, but I'm not there now. Tonight's Rose Ceremony was, once again, very difficult. I didn't want to hurt Jenny's feelings when I asked her to leave but I just didn't feel a connection between us. It's not that I overlooked her at all, like she suggested. I really like her as a person, but I don't think that we had the same connection that I have with some of the other women. There's no doubt that I have six amazing girls left. They're all great in their own right, but now I need to figure out which girl is great for me, and who I could possibly have a future with. Episode 4 Diary Air Date: 04/18/2005 I went over to the girls' house today, and we had a wonderful time. We were just talking and hanging out, and then Chris Harrison showed up. The room kind of went quiet when he got there -- everyone knew something was going to happen. I wasn't prepared for the Rose Ceremony right then, but somehow, I got through it. It wasn't easy sending Anitra and Kindle home. I really think Anitra and I both realized on our date last night that we weren't meant for each other. We are very different, and although we had fun, she isn't the one for me. Kindle did absolutely nothing wrong. She is a very fun girl and we laugh every time we're together, but we just didn't get that alone time. We never had a one-on-one date and so we never had that time to bond. Next up are the hometown dates. I'm going home with four beautiful ladies, and I can't wait. I think seeing where these women are from and meeting their families will really give me an idea of who is the one for me. I want to fall in love; I'm ready to meet that person that I can be with forever, and I hope that person is here right now. Episode 5 Diary Air Date: 04/25/2005 I cannot even begin to describe how hard tonight was. Walking into the Rose Ceremony, I had no idea who I was going to let go. I'd just come back from meeting four families, and they were all great families. How do I send one of these ladies home? I ended up giving roses to Sarah B., Sarah W. and Krisily. I'm still not sure I made the right decision. I hope that, come tomorrow, I don't regret what I did. But at the same time, I had to send one person home, and Kimberley seemed like the right person. I hope she understands that this was incredibly difficult for me, and that I never meant to hurt her feelings. For the next round of dates, I'm headed to exotic locations with three great girls. I can't wait to spend a 24-hour period with each of them and really find out if we're going to work. It's getting close to the end and it's crunch time now -- I have to find out which girl is right for me. Episode 6 Diary Air Date: 05/02/2005 I don't think today's Rose Ceremony could have gone any better. I think sending Sarah W. home was without doubt the right thing to do. This decision was far easier than when I had to send Kimberly home. I realized in Aruba that Sarah W. and I still had a lot of awkward moments in our relationship. On my dates with Krisily and Sarah B., I never felt that way. Sarah W. and I lacked that connection. We hit it off at the very beginning and had a great first date together, but we could never rekindle those moments. I know my parents and my brother will love Krisily and Sarah B. I really started to fall for Krisily in Aruba. She had never experienced so many of the things we did here and it was great to share those firsts with her. She is a wonderful person and it will be great to see how she interacts with my family. Sarah B. is definitely going to get along great with my mom. I can see the two of them being fast friends. I love that Sarah B. can walk into any room and it just lights up. At the beginning of this experience, I was very skeptical that it could possibly work -- but it is working. It's a big relief to know I really can fall in love this way. I have some big dates coming up, and I can't wait to get started. Episode 7 Diary Air Date: 05/16/2005 There is no diary entry for the final episode.