The Bachelor II Diary

Episdoe 1

Every woman that walked out of the limo was a new surprise, an unfamiliar face, and they were all beautiful, and it was just amazing. I mean they would come up and introduce themselves to me, and I would shake their hand, and I was nervous as they were. You know it's like, what do you say? You meet somebody for the first time, and they're at your new pad, and you're welcoming them to the party, and uh … I don't know it was just amazing because they all looked so beautiful, and it'd really be hard to say that one out of all 25 really stood out based on that initial acquaintance.

The first invitation night when I met all 25 women, it's really hard to pick one out of all the basic initial acquaintances. Christy stands out in my mind; she was the former Miss Idaho. But beyond that, that first evening was such a blur, such a whirlwind. You know, you only have two or three hours to meet 25 women, and then make a big decision; so it was very tough.

The first evening I made a concerted effort to talk to every one of them. I think I missed a few, but you just have to go with your gut instinct when it comes down to it. The physical attraction, and what little conversation, or what little you do know about that person. It was tough, and that first night I made a change at the last minute. You know I was getting ready to hand out that 14th rose, and I stepped away from the podium, and went outside and talked to Chris, and I decided to give a rose to Kyla instead of Merrilee. Merrilee looked better on paper, but there was more chemistry between me and Kyla, so I went with my gut. 

Episdoe 2

The first date was at Del Mar with 5 women, it went very well. It was a little tense, it was emotionally draining, but it wasn't until the second five-person date that it all hit the fan. There was a lot of drama, lot of emotions with girls crying, and I didn't understand why. I was just like, how am I gonna deal with this? It was tough. And then the third five-person date was wonderful. We went to Lake Powell, and we had a wonderful time, and they were a very mature group of ladies, and they knew that I was stressed because of the previous day, and they wanted my respect. They knew that the best way to get my respect was to be straightforward, not be vindictive in any way, and we had a great time.

During the second invitation night Suzanne kept telling me she had some big secret, but she wasn't going to disclose it to me, and we went in circles several times and she wouldn't tell me what it was. Well finally she told me that she was married once before briefly, and her parents didn't know about it. I didn't think it was that big of an issue.

Also, during the second invitation night, Anindita and Frances pulled me aside, and we walked outside together. They had a question for me. They wanted to know if I had ever been in an interracial relationship, and I said yeah, as a matter of fact I have, I dated a Moroccan for a while. And I didn't understand where they were going with that.

I don't know what their motive was there, but as soon as I walked down into the living room ready to present 10 roses to 15 beautiful ladies, Anindita said excuse me, I wanna tell you something Aaron, and that's before I even said a word.

After Anindita left Frances stood up immediately thereafter and approached me, and I have respect for Frances. I know that this whole idea of being on the show was her sister's idea, and she didn't know what she was getting herself into, and this was overwhelming; she felt uncomfortable.

I think that Anindita was just trying to save face. Yeah, she knew that she wasn't going to receive a rose, and she was just trying to leave with some pride I guess. That's the wrong way to go about it in my opinion. Francis was overwhelmed by the situation, I understand that, but she wasn't going to receive a rose anyhow, and I can't get into her mind as to really what she was thinking there …

Episdoe 3

I had a few hours alone with Ryan and Melissa, after they had spent a few days with the ladies over at their villa, to find out what they thought about everybody. Ryan and Melissa didn't sway me in any way. They really just confirmed what I had been thinking about everybody. They saw right through a couple of the ladies that were totally kissing up to them. Those were opinions that I had already formed based on my initial experiences.

According to Ryan and Melissa, Christy was somewhat possessive of their time, and they saw right through it. She was trying to come across as this very even keel, very levelheaded person, but they really weren't impressed with their time with Christy.

The California Adventure date was interesting. Christy was on that date, and I had given us a second chance to get to know each other better, and it just wasn't there. Heather from Texas was also on that date, and I didn't have a vibe toward her. Heather from California was on that date, and I really like her. She's a cutie. She has a nice personality and a lot going for her.

And Angela was also on the date. We got to spend some nice one on one time, took a little romantic walk together, and that was the turning point for her. That was when she said, "Oh Aaron, I'm glad we got to spend this time together, I can see now why the other girls like you." We went from there.

At the third invitation night Heather from California came to me outside, and she was very indifferent. She wasn't into me like I was her, and she said a couple things that later she admittedly regretted saying. I didn't want to give a rose to somebody who is not totally into me and this whole project. So I decided at that point in time not to give the rose to her, and I gave it to Heather from Texas instead.

The three-person beach date with Gwen, Kyla, and Hayley was a lot of fun. They all tried surfing and proved to me how gregarious and adventurous they are. I really got to know Kyla on that date. We had a nice walk along the beach together, and she's just really surprising, she has been a dark horse. Being a Mormon I just figured she would be so much more conservative than she really is, and she's outgoing. I've been very intrigued by her. Hayley, on the other hand, has the respect of all the ladies in the villa. She has the respect of my friends. Everybody speaks so highly of her. For whatever reason, I don't have that impression of her. She's admittedly very shy around me and not herself where she wishes she could open up to me. And Gwen, we've had some pretty good dates together. The hot air balloon date was great. The other time we spent at Del Mar together was a lot of fun, so I really enjoyed spending that time with Gwen because she's a sweetheart and we have a lot in common. 

Although I really liked Kyla a lot and was enjoying our time together, I just didn't have a sense of a chemistry that we would need to go that next step in a relationship, and so that's why at that point in time I decided not to give her a rose. Christi and I, in my opinion, don't have much in common. She is very, very emotional, and on more than one occasion she has had tears in her eyes when she's talking to me, and I don't understand why she's upset. I'm a very sensitive person, but I'm not emotional like that, and I don't think we have that much in common. 

Episdoe 4

The Cinderella date with Gwen was wonderful. I had so much fun with her. That dress that she wore fit her perfectly, and she is just a China Doll, she is beautiful. She looked great in that dress. In addition to that, she's a lot of fun to be around. That was as close to an ideal date as I've come so far. 

The home cooking date with Helene was somewhat of a turning point for us, I think. It was a very realistic setting. We watched slides of each other as we were kids growing up, sat in the hot tub, and had very compelling conversation. She really opened up, and that's really when I sensed that she wasn't going to be as skeptical all the way through this and she was going to allow me to get to know her, and that's what I needed for the next rose ceremony.

The one-on-one date with Heather from Texas in Santa Barbara … that was interesting. Heather is one of those girls that's just going to be a beer-drinking buddy to me. You know, she's a lot of fun to be around, but I don't really have any desire to be intimate with her in any way.

My whole focus that whole evening was just to have fun with her, and just relax. I had already made up my mind that she wasn't going to receive a rose in the next ceremony, but was trying to give us a fair chance — see if maybe I missed something or overlooked something — but I hadn't. 

Episdoe 5

Meeting Gwen's family was a great experience overall. Her mom was funny. She had a list of 20 questions for me that she pulled out of her purse and grilled me a little bit, but it wasn't anything that I hadn't already thought of or anticipated. Gwen's very lucky. She has a very nice family. She took me to Niagara Falls, showed me around the College where she went to school … we just had a great time together.

The second hometown date was in Philadelphia. I met Helene's parents there. We toured Glouscter City New Jersey, her hometown. Helene has a wonderful family, three older brothers — three overprotective older brothers … kidding, no they had some great questions for me, and I had a lot of fun with her family … seems like a family that I would really fit into, and I think that Helene would really fit in my family because she's so thick skinned as a result of having three brothers.

The last hometown date was in Kansas City, and that's when I met Angela's roommate Summer; that didn't go very well. Summer is anti-marriage. I think she's anti-love for that matter. I mean she just was very skeptical and very negative, and you know, if I was Angela I just don't know if I could live with that attitude all the time. In addition to that, meeting her family didn't go that well either. I mean they seem like nice people, but they just didn't wanna know that much about me. I mean, there were times I was sitting outside with all of them-Angela was inside, and they were talking about school and classes, and who has who for a teacher, and things like that. And I'm just thinking, well you know, guys I'm only gonna be here for like two hours. Is there anything about me that you wanna know? I didn't really wanna interrupt their family conversation. It was just very awkward.

The third hometown date was in Alabama. I met Brooke's family there. Awesome southern family, and southern hospitality. It was very apparent to me that there was a lot of unconditional love and support in that family. Brooke is extremely fortunate, and now I can see why she's such a fine young lady … being raised in such a loving environment. I mean they have such an awesome outlook on this whole process. It's really impossible for me to think that I would be as open minded if I was in their shoes. They just told me, if I ever didn't anything to hurt their daughter's feelings, they would come after me, but then again on the same note if Brooke ever did anything to hurt my feelings, or anything they thought was wrong, they would go after her the same way. I mean they're just great people and I had a great time getting to know them. 

Episdoe 6

The first two exotic dates were awesome. I feel great right now, and I'm getting ready for the third exotic date with Brooke. If I had to make a decision right now, I would give Helene and Gwen a rose, but Brooke's a sweetheart and I wanted to give us a fair chance as well when we go to Hawaii.

Going into the sixth rose ceremony I had one last request. I had a small favor to ask of Chris, the host. I needed five minutes with each of the women. I just wanted to see them one last time because I was struggling with the decision. It was tormenting me. 

He granted my wish, and I saw Helene first and we had a nice little conversation, and I asked her a couple very serious questions. I had already made up my mind. I knew that Helene was going to receive a rose. So, it was between Brooke and Gwen in my mind.

I talked to Brooke next. She came in and she really just put herself out there. She told me, and not only then but also on her video message, that she thought I was making a mistake if I didn't choose her, and that I was making a mistake that both of us would have to pay for the rest of our lives, and those were pretty bold words. I know it was tough for her to put herself out there in that way, and that meant a lot to me. 

Gwen, on the other hand, came in and she just didn't seem that much in the moment. She came across very indifferent to me. I don't know if it was because she was confident that she was going to receive a rose because our exotic date went so well, or if maybe she had decided I might not be the one for her, I don't know. 

That was the turning point for Gwen, and that conversation, coupled with the video message, just wasn't very dynamic. It just didn't seem like she was that interested in me. So I decided to give Brooke a rose instead and give us a chance to get to know each other even better. 

Episdoe 7

Throughout this process I guess the one thing that I've learned is for one, I never want to go on another date as long as I live. I'm pretty much tired of dating at this point. I went into this whole process being a big skeptic. Thinking that I might meet one of 25 that I might be interested in maybe; I was very skeptical about it, but here I am. I'm engaged to Helene. She was just as big a skeptic as I was and it's blowing both of our minds. It's kind of freaking us out, but if it's meant to be, you go for it. If it feels right, do it. And that's what attitude you have to have in this process. I'm glad that I thought it was a risk worth taking, and I'm glad that she felt the same way because it obviously had an ideal result. We're two very happy people, and I look forward to getting to know her better and growing with her, and sharing my life with her.

Thank God this wasn't a situation in which I was just like, well, I'll pick the one I like more than anybody else. That's not it at all. I think that Helene and I are going to have a great time sharing our lives with each other. I felt like that when there were 15 women left. I mean, I didn't even know Helene, just based on what I did know of her I was extremely impressed, and that's really how this all played out. I didn't feel any external pressure to propose, and if it didn't feel right then I wasn't going to go for it, but it did. It is a leap of faith, it's a huge leap of faith, but what's life if you don't have faith? I'm at the same point in my life as Helene is and we're ready to share our lives with somebody. We have established careers, we've accomplished all these things, we've gotten all the partying out of our system … you know? I think if any two people can make this work, it's Helene and I.

Do I think I misled anyone? It's likely that some of them might think that I misled them for whatever reason. I'm not sure why they would think that way. I feel like I did a pretty good job communicating what I was going through, and my thoughts and feelings with each one. I think that emotions were high after some of the rose ceremonies, so it is apparent to me some of them were shocked by the outcome.

Believe it or not, you do kind of grow close to people in this intense situation. I can't expect anybody out there to understand where I'm coming from because there's no way they possibly could unless they were in my shoes, literally. I was as big a skeptic as anybody, so was Helene, so its just been truly amazing to me how comfortable I am around her, and how close we have become in such a short amount of time. We feel like we've been with each other for a lot longer than six weeks.