AOL Chat Transcript with Aaron 11/21/02 AOL Host: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to AOL's live chat with Aaron, the star of 'The Bachelor,' and Helene, who we all saw become his fiancee on the finale last night on ABC. Welcome to AOL, both of you. Aaron: Good evening. AOL Host: Let's begin with an update. We all saw your engagement last night. Are you two living together now? Do you have the wedding plans set yet? What's going on? Aaron: Well, we take this commitment very seriously. And coming out of this situation, we think that it's reason for a very lengthy engagement. We want to be very diligent and take our sweet time getting to know each other better here, taking it day by day, and things are going very well for us so far. But she's very close to her family, and I am, too. That will be a sacrifice for her when the time comes and she's ready to move to my hometown of Springfield. AOL Host: Is it a relief to finally be able to be together in public now that the show has ended? Aaron: Absolutely. It's a huge relief that we can lead more of a normal life and more of a normal dating relationship as well. Being sequestered for the last two and a half months has been difficult. We've seen each other twice. This is the third time we've seen each other. We talk almost daily on the phone. There was some stress on our relationship on the show, from not being able to be around each other. It's not like she could call up her friends and talk about me, because that would give it away. So keeping that all bottled up was tough. It was tough, but we made it to this point. We feel we can make it all the way. AOL Host: Helene, a member wants to know if you're ready to move from New Jersey to Missouri if the time comes for that? Helene: I don't think I'm ready to move tomorrow, but when the time comes, I don't think I would have a problem with it. AOL Host: Would you guys be planning to still live there or are you looking to maybe move to L.A., New York, someplace else? Aaron: No. My career and obligations, they are in Springfield, they come first and foremost as far as I'm concerned. I'm not able to move. I'm in business with my family, and my family's very important to me. They were nice enough to give me the opportunity to go into business with them. So as far as us moving from the area, that is not really an option. AOL Host: We have a question from a member named Gemini 23 who wants to know if you guys watched the first season of 'The Bachelor' and if so, what did you think of it? Aaron: I didn't watch the first season of 'The Bachelor.' Helene, did you? Helene: I watched the second half of the first season of 'The Bachelor' to see what it was like. To see how Alex... to see who Alex would pick. Aaron: What did you think? AOL Host: Who were you rooting for? Helene: Who was I rooting for? AOL Host: Yeah. Helene: I don't know. I guess towards the end, Trista. She seemed more of a realistic person. I don't know. She would have been my choice, if I were Alex. AOL Host: We have a question from a member named Husker 1, who wants to know: Aaron, did you know right away that Helene was going to be the one for you? Aaron: Well, the morning after the first rose ceremony, one of the producers came into the bachelor pad and we went to the deliberation room. He said, OK, if you had to pick somebody, who would it be? I pointed to Helene. That was just based on my initial impression and gut instinct. I didn't know her that well at the time, obviously. And it just so happens that we got to know each other and things went very well between the two of us, and we were able to engage there at the end of the process. But I don't want anybody to think that I totally singled her out from the very beginning, because I was very open-minded to everybody throughout the process. And I wanted to get to know everybody the best that I could so as to make sure that the compatibility was there -- not to overlook a possible relationship with somebody else. AOL Host: We have a question from a member named MWBrunson, who wants to know: Aaron, how important was your family's opinion in deciding who you were going to choose? Aaron: My family's opinion was very important to me. They were very impressed with both of the finalists. And like my dad said on the show, based on what he saw, he didn't think I could go wrong either way. They saw there was much more chemistry, they saw how I interacted with Helene, and they know me well enough to know that's the way I was leaning. They had a pretty good outcome of the show before anybody else, but didn't know if I proposed. AOL Host: A member wants to know if age was a factor in your decision. Aaron: Age was not a factor. I just think that Brooke and I are at two different points in our lives. It has nothing to do with age. If she was 27, I would still think we're at two different points in our lives. I heard she maybe has the impression it was based on age, and I want to clarify that it wasn't at all. From my point of view. AOL Host: What about maturity? Did you think Helene was more mature than Brooke, or did you think Brooke was immature? Aaron: No, Brooke is not immature at all, she's very mature, very gracious, has an extremely level head on her shoulders, and has a very bright future ahead of her. Comparing the two, I think of course Helene is very mature as well, very independent and headstrong and has a lot going for her, as well. I just felt like there was more natural chemistry between Helene and I than Brooke and I. AOL Host: A member named R. Flynn has a question about something Brooke said near the end of the show yesterday when she was driving away. She said that you said to her, "Did I make a mistake?" Did you really say that, and did you still have doubts at that point? Aaron: What I said was "I can only pray that I haven't made a mistake." And, you know, going through the process, it's very important for one not to look back in hindsight, because that's not going to be healthy for our relationship at all. Yes, it is human nature to ask yourself those questions. You know -- what if I'd done this, maybe I should have done that. But I really don't think like that. And I don't have any regrets about the process. I don't have any regrets about the decisions I made through the process, either. AOL Host: That goes for you, too, Helene? Any regrets? Helene: I don't have any regrets over anything that I've said or done or anything else. AOL Host: Helene, what were your initial impressions of Aaron when you first met him, and did they change at all during the course of the show? Aaron: Speak your mind. Helene: Well, initially I thought he was very handsome. I don't know... very into his career, and I think he had a very good personality and very charismatic. And I guess as I got to know him more, I just started to like him more and enjoy all of his qualities. AOL Host: A member named Austinlady wants to know if either of you can get back to what was your normal lives after this whole experience? Aaron: Absolutely. Helene's been working. I've been off traveling for PR. And I worked a couple days last week, and I'll work a full week next week in the bank there in Springfield. I think the notoriety will start to taper off after a while. It's been a wild ride and a great experience. It's nice to have a taste of fame, but I've got to tell you, I don't envy celebrities for the lifestyle at all. That's what makes this so enjoyable, knowing it is a short-term deal and this notoriety is going to go away in a month or two. AOL Host: Neither of you have any aspirations to pursue a career in show business or entertainment or the media? Helene: I think I might want to be a singer. AOL Host: Well, 'American Idol 2' is coming up. Helene: I would be booed so bad by Simon, it would be humiliating. Aaron: My first cousin is a very talented vocalist and is trying out for 'American Idol 2,' so I wish her the best. AOL Host: You could be happy working as a vice president at your family's banking business, Aaron? Aaron: Yeah. I love my job and the people I work for. I know that banking doesn't sound like the most dynamic, exciting career. But what I do is business development, and I'm always out meeting people, speaking at different functions, and that's what I really enjoy. I used to be a mechanical engineer, and I couldn't stand to sit behind the computer all day, every day. It drove me crazy. I'm a feel person. I like to get out, meet new people all the time. In addition, Trolley's Downtown Bar and Grille is my restaurant that should be open in about a month. We're working rapidly on that. That will add spice to my life, as well. AOL Host: A question have a member named Froggybaby wants to know, Aaron, if Helene makes your heart go flip-flop. Aaron: Flip-flop? Is that the same as pitter-patter? AOL Host: I think it's in the ballpark of pitter-patter. Helene: Pitter-patter? Aaron: Pitter-patter. Yeah, I think. I'm in love with her. Hopefully, she's in love with me as well. AOL Host: A member named Marcy wants to know: Aaron, was there one specific quality about Helene that made her stand out from the rest of the women. Aaron: The quality about Helene? Oh, I think that intelligence is sexy, and I think the final three had very good intellect. In addition to that, I think Helene's attitude is very respectable. And yeah, she was very skeptical throughout the process, but I admire that to a certain extent, because she wasn't like some of the other bachelorettes, totally throwing themselves out there, you know. Seeing that she was taking her time and this wasn't a contest or competition, she wanted to make sure it was right for her before making her move was one of the things that got my respect. AOL Host: We have a question from a member named Munyc for Helene. She wants to know if you used any special strategy like 'The Rules' for landing Aaron. Aaron: She brainwashed me, but other than that... Helene: No, I really didn't have a specific strategy. I just tried to be my normal self and just try to get to know Aaron and to see if he and bring a good match for one another. AOL Host: Aaron, we have a question from a member named Stef, who wants to know what your family thought when you told them you were going to be on the show? Aaron: They didn't know what to think. They weren't really familiar with the concept of 'The Bachelor.' There were a lot of unknowns there and they were very concerned that me doing something like this could somehow tarnish my professional life there in Springfield, my career. And, you know, in hindsight, they're very proud of the way I handled myself throughout the show. And the banking community is very proud and I've received nothing but positive feedback. The biggest compliment so far is an invitation to speak with Alan Greenspan at a national convention in March. Of course, I accepted it and look forward to that. AOL Host: Wow... A member named Kennis wants to know from both of you what made you want to go on TV to find a potential husband or wife in the first place? Aaron: For me or her? AOL Host: Both of you. Aaron: In the beginning, since I didn't watch the first show or watch much reality TV at all, I didn't have any idea what this was about. The tellers at the bank that I help operate in Springfield were giving me a hard time, saying, we think you'd make an awesome bachelor. I laughed it off. Then I came back from lunch with a voice message from ABC saying they liked my qualifications and hoped that I would return the call and take time to make the five-minute videotape. What happened was the tellers got on the Web site and filled out the application for me and sent it in without me knowing about it. So it's a total fluke, but in hindsight it's a great experience and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Helene, tell them your story of how you just went with a friend. Helene: Yeah, I went with a friend for a casting call for 'The Bachelor' just on a whim. You know, I got a call back a few weeks later and then a few weeks after that I found out I was on the show. I went for the overall experience. I wasn't really expecting to find my true love or anything like that. But in the end it just happened to be that way, so I guess I'm pretty lucky. AOL Host: Helene, you work in a school as a psychologist, right? Helene: Yes. AOL Host: What have the students been saying to you the last few weeks? Helene: The students have all been pretty positive, pretty supportive. You know, they just come up to me and say, Miss E., I seen you on TV. That's about it. Even the staff, the people I work with, you know, they've been all rooting for me all along, just been very supportive and very positive. AOL Host: A question, Aaron, from a member named Kickme, who wants to know what qualities did Brooke not have that Helene did? Aaron: That's a good question. AOL Host: What was Brooke missing, in your opinion? Aaron: I don't know that Brooke was missing anything, and I don't want Brooke to think that there's something wrong with her and that's why I didn't think we were the most compatible couple. You know, like I said in the show, sometimes on that level you can't really explain love, and you can't really explain why two people click more than others. That's really all it came down to. AOL Host: Following up on that, a member named Nottoday wants to know what you felt when you saw the final show and you saw Brooke crying in the limousine afterwards? Aaron: I felt about two inches tall. That really upset me. As Helene saw it, it upset both of us, because Brooke is such a wonderful lady. She's got a bigger heart than anybody I've ever met. To see she was able to hold her composure in front of me, then hear the things she had to say in the limo, really, really got to me, and I'm not happy about that at all. If I was to do this over again, that would be one of the reasons I wouldn't, because it amazed me to see how they reacted to me. And I'm flattered that she felt that strongly about me, but at the same time I hate hurting people's feelings, and that is what made it so difficult last night. AOL Host: Helene, a member wants to know if you could change one thing about Aaron, what would it be? Helene: Let's see... Aaron: Where do you begin? Helene: Yeah, where should I start? I'm not sure if I would change anything about him, because he is the person that I fell in love with and I fell in love with him for many reasons. So I don't know if there is a thing that I would change. I kind of like him the way he is. AOL Host: Aaron, a member points out that you seemed to enjoy hot tubs on the show. Do you own a hot tub, and if not, will you be getting one now? Aaron: That's a great question. I don't own a hot tub. I did have a Jacuzzi Whirlpool tub, which is a two-seater. AOL Host: That's all you need, right? Aaron: As a result of the show, many opportunities have presented themselves to us. One of them is a hot tub company. They want me to do some stuff for them. In return, they're going to give me like a 12-seater hot tub. Other companies are talking about making bobbleheads. You know, it's so funny to hear these conversations taking place. Crest White Strips has approached both of us, and we're doing work for them, because I've used their product, and I think Helene has, too. In addition to that, this notoriety is just amazing. Last weekend I was in Aspen sitting between John Ritter and George Lopez and people were asking for my autograph. It's just all backwards right now, with the celebrities being as passionate about the show as everybody else. AOL Host: Is there anything that was edited out of the show that you wish wasn't edited out? Helene: I don't know. I guess I can say a lot of the nice things that happened between Aaron and I, a lot of the romantic moments I think were edited out to make things a little less obvious for the viewers. I wish I would have seen a lot more of that. I wish the other people would have seen a lot more of that. Aaron: Anindita, Frances and I had a conversation that I wish would have made it to the air. But I'll leave it at that. AOL Host: You can't give us a hint what it was about? Aaron: No, I better not. I'd love to, but I better not. AOL Host: Sounds like quite a conversation then. Aaron: It was. AOL Host: Is there anything that did make it into the show that you wished they'd cut out? Aaron: Hmmm. Helene: Maybe my comment about if I'm not going to win, then I'm not going to try. I really did not mean it in that particular way. That's just how it came out. What I was trying to figure out was Aaron's feelings for me, if it would be worth me sticking around for, and being willing to invest my heart into this process. AOL Host: A member named Etmob wants to know if you have thought about where you will get married, if you do get married? Aaron: Where? AOL Host: Yeah, where. Aaron: That's another of the romantic conversations Helene referred to earlier, that didn't make it to the air. On the side of Aspen, in the middle of the day of our exotic date, I told her when we get married, I'd love to get married in a small town of Italy, in Aslo. I lived there for a year. It's very quaint, noncommercial, and nobody there speaks English. It's a perfect old Italy town. There's a beautiful villa there. That's where I would like to get married. AOL Host: Helene, a member named Mdgal wants to know if the show at all was belittling to you as a woman, the whole process of being chosen, being judged? Helene: No, I never really thought of it as belittling or demeaning to women of any kind, because we were told from the git-go, if we did not want to be there at any time, we could leave. So if any of us did not like Aaron or didn't approve of the process, we could have always left. And also at the rose ceremonies, we didn't have to accept roses if we didn't feel that strongly about Aaron as he did for us. So we had a lot of choices in this whole process. AOL Host: A question from a member named Jamiegirl who wants to know: Helene, if Aaron is still down to earth now that he's on the cover of national magazines, or has he gotten an ego about him? Helene: Oh, man. Well, I don't know. I will not lie, and I say the thought has crossed my mind that Aaron might be a little starstruck by all of the interviews, all of the shows and everything else. And I hope that is not the case, because, you know, I fell in love with a very down-to-earth guy and somebody that's pretty typical, like me. So I hope that is not the case, that he and I can get along with our relationship outside of the media. AOL Host: Aaron, what's it like to be the focus of so much media attention? Is it all fun, or is it stressful as well? Aaron: I wouldn't say it's stressful. I wouldn't say it's all fun either. I really enjoy the talk shows and the interviews. It's the traveling and the growing schedule that gets to you after a while. It's not being able to go shopping at the grocery store without everybody wanting to talk to you about the show and give input. It takes forever to walk through an airport, all of the simple things I never thought would be a problem, what I took for granted. That's why I'm hoping for the notoriety to wear off in the near future. Aaron: It has been a lot of fun, and I've enjoyed the experience, meeting different people, different celebrities. I've had the opportunity to speak with Sandra Bullock on the phone. She's a big fan of the show, and different people like that. Earlier today we met Hulk Hogan. But it's a lot of little things that I wouldn't have had the opportunity to do otherwise. And I enjoy it, I think, more than I would have otherwise, because back in February I had a life-threatening situation and I almost died from it. So my outlook is a little different now than it would be otherwise. Because if I went back to the oncologist next week and they told me I had leukemia, like they did in February, I'd be very glad I did everything here. AOL Host: But everything is OK with you right now, Aaron? Aaron: Yeah, as far as we know. AOL Host: A question from a member named Ashley who wants to know if either of you have kept in touch with any of the other women from the show. Aaron: Yeah, indirectly. Helene: I have indirectly gotten in touch with Lynn. We're really not allowed to talk with one another, but through somebody from ABC and through a couple of friends that have been at some media functions with Gwen we exchanged "hi"s, "missed you"s, things like that. We hoped to talk to each other after the show. She was a great girl, and I considered her a friend on the show, so I can't wait to talk to her. Aaron: I have not been in contact with anybody else from the show, outside of a couple interviews, like 'Good Morning America' this morning. Regardless of the outcome, there's no doubt I will be in touch with some of the bachelorettes from the show. I think everybody left the show with nothing but great things to say about one another. So I would love to stay in touch with somebody like Gwen or Angela from the show -- just as friends. AOL Host: Speaking of Gwen, Helene, did you watch the reunion special, and if so, what did you think about the way Gwen was still obviously pining away for the man who's now your fiancee? Helene: I really didn't know how to feel about that. I mean, I respected Gwen and everything she did in the entire show, and I respect her feelings, and of course she was surprised to see Aaron there and I probably would have reacted the same way if I was in her shoes. AOL Host: A question from a member named lzandi, wants to know if the two of you watched the finale together last night? Aaron: Yeah, we did. We locked ourselves in the hotel room here, ordered room service, a bottle of wine and enjoyed the show. AOL Host: Aaron, a member wants to know if you had talked at all to Alex, the previous bachelor, and if he had any advice for you before starting the show. Aaron: I've never spoken with Alex or met him. Through an interview one time, the advice he gave me was not to get sick on the helicopter. That's about all of the advice I've ever received from him. AOL Host: Have either of you been on the Internet to read all the message boards and look at all of the Web sites about the show? Aaron: I haven't gone out there to read the message boards. Helene, have you? Helene: I have from time to time looked at them, because my friends will e-mail me or call me at work and say, you won't believe what they're saying on the message board or whatever. But, you know, I can't be worried about what everyone else is saying and what everyone else thinks. I'm not really too concerned about that. But everyone has the right to express their opinions, and so I just let them do so. AOL Host: We have a question from a member named CutieMichelle who wants to know if you would consider televising your wedding if that opportunity arose? Sort of a sequel to "The Bachelor," I guess. Aaron: I wouldn't be opposed to very limited media covering it, I guess. But I wouldn't want to make it a big event. AOL Host: Helene, you agree with that? Helene: Yeah, I would agree with that. I think a wedding is a very private thing, and so, you know, my family and my friends are the most important people to me and that's who I want to be there. If a couple people want to take pictures or something like that, that would be fine, but I don't know about a whole media circus like the engagement was. AOL Host: A lot of members are asking about if you have any plans about how long you're going to be engaged or if it's completely open-ended and you're taking it one day at a time. Helene: I don't know. I guess we're just going to take it one day at a time. I don't know. In my mind I thought about just sort of a timeline of a year to see, kind of a trial to see how we are together, and for us sort of to make a decision, you know, at the same time maybe next year about what we wanted to do, whether move to Springfield or... I don't want to waste my time, I'm sure Aaron couldn't want to... doesn't want to waste his. We should take about a year to find out if we're the right people for each other and to make the next step. I don't know if you would agree. Aaron: I totally agree with that. AOL Host: We're almost to the end of our chat tonight. We have a few more questions. Zoey 4 wants to know how important having children is to you? Aaron: I think children are important. I would love to have a family one of these days. If I couldn't have children of my own, I would adopt. Helene: Likewise. Children are very important to me. I work with kids every day. I see what a positive effect they have on people and people's lives. I would love to have a family someday. AOL Host: A member named Jonesy wants to know what was the relationship between you and Brooke the last few days. Were you supportive of each other, competing with each other? What was the mood between you two? Helene: When it came to the final four, the four of us were placed in separate hotels and thus we had no contact with each other except at the rose ceremonies. Even at the rose ceremonies we were not allowed to speak to each other. There was little time to be supportive or anything else to one another. I remember at the last ceremony before the final one, I did hug Brooke and we were supportive that way of each other, but that was it. AOL Host: Helene, have any former boyfriends been calling you up since the show began, wishing they were still your boyfriend? Helene: Well, I guess an old boyfriend of mine has called me up since the show ended, and I guess expressed his disapproval of my participation in the show and how it was affecting his love life. I don't know how that could occur, but somehow I was indirectly to blame for that. So, I don't know, that's his issue to work out, not mine. I've moved on with my life, and I wish he would do the same with his. AOL Host: Aaron, what about you? Any former girlfriends calling you up? Aaron: Well, I wouldn't say that they're calling me up. I mean, as a result of the show at all. I'm still in contact with several of the girls that I've dated in the past. We're on very good terms with each other. But they're not calling me up as a result of the show. We just talk from time to time randomly about different things. AOL Host: I think we have time for one more question from a member. A member wants to know how much time you guys were able to spend off camera during the making of the show? Did you get any alone time, or was it almost always on camera? Helene: Just on the overnight dates were we allowed to spend a good portion of the time off camera. Aaron: Yeah, just primarily on the exotic dates we had alone time. But the rest of the time, the cameras are pretty much always there. Honestly, that's... in my defense, that's one of the reasons hot tubs were such a big part of the show, I don't think people realized how hard it is to be yourself with all of the cameras on you. That was something I had to deal with, making the bachelorettes feel very comfortable in front of the camera, always joking with them, aloof and lighthearted so they'd forget the cameras were there. At the end of the long day, grabbing a glass of wine, sitting in the hot tub was the best way for people to just relax and forget about everything going on around them and we could have a normal conversation. AOL Host: We have time for one last question from a member named Debra43 who wants to know from both of you, if you could do it all over again, what would you do differently, if anything? Helene: I don't know. I don't think I would really have done anything differently. I think whatever I did obviously worked in my favor, so I really have no regrets. Aaron: Yeah, if I could do it again, there are a bunch of little things I'm sure that I would do differently. It's hard to put my finger on them. But, you know, in hindsight you live and you learn, and you try to improve on yourself the next go round. But that's nothing that would have changed the outcome of the show. AOL Host: All right. Well, unfortunately, that's all the time we have tonight. We have a ton of questions we're not going to get to. I was wondering if either of you had any message you wanted to give to all your fans out here on AOL. Aaron: Well, hopefully everybody out there will stay tuned for 'The Bachelorette,' Trista. Hopefully she will find her true love. Stay tuned. That will be a wild ride, as the tables are turned and 25 guys vie for one lady's attention. AOL Host: Helene, will you be watching 'The Bachelorette'? Helene: I wouldn't miss it for the world. It's going to be fun to see Trista with all of those guys. I don't think I could do it myself. But you know, we're going to see what she's going to do with it. AOL Host: All right. Cool. I want to remind our audience they can talk more about the show, take a poll, look at photos of Helene and Aaron at AOL Keyword: The Bachelor. It was a pleasure to have you chat with us. All the best to both of you in your future together. Aaron: Thank you very much. Helene: Thank you. AOL Host: To all of our AOL members, thanks for all of their great questions and comments. Good night, guys. Copyright 2002 America Online, Inc. All rights reserved. Portions of this transcript may be edited by AOL to correct spelling, punctuation and/or remove any material that violates AOL's Terms of Service.